Chaos Soccer Team

Well while we were at the Broken Record we decided on a team song. Manchester United has “Tiny Bubbles” and Liverpool has “You’ll Never Walk Alone”

Well, this is our song.  Enjoy!

You Know You’re A Soccer Player When…

- Your Jeans don’t Fit Around Your Massive Leg Muscles
- Whenever You Have To Write An Essay On A Hero, You Pick Mia Hamm.
- You Accidentally Kick The Ball When You’re Playing Other Sports
- The Most Important Cross, in your life, Is In Front Of The Goal.
- You Have 3 Bottles of Advil In Your Locker, Bag, And Car.
-Your neighbors call 911 because you haven’t left your house day or night during world cup
-your trunk has at least one ball and a pair of cleats
-something you own is named after Pele or David
-you have soccer posters somewhere in your house
-you bring soccer socks for ice-skating
-All your non-work clothing has three stripes or an Umbro brand name
-can recognize ex-players by the way they move & look
-the only way you pick up a ball for a friend is with your feet
-you’ve accidently gotten a foul in another sport from kicking the ball
-you can recognize fellow soccer players by their walk, their legs, their clothes and their car.
-you strive to find pickup games
-you can honestly use both feet equally
-you know more than 6 ways to pickup a ball
-you do rainbows with the basketball at the gym
-you stretch even when you aren’t working out
-you have year round blisters or shin splints
-you keep an extra T-shirt and shorts in your car just in case
-you judge people’s abilities by where they grew up, who they play for, and where they play in HS
-you’ve had at least 3 bad coaches
-you’ve traveled somewhere more than 3 hours away for a tournament
-you have every color, style, and size tournament T-shirt from all the years
-you’ve played goalie, at least once
-at least one of your previous relationships has been with a soccer player
-you judge a person’s skills by if you like their number or not.
-you have old hotline numbers in your phone
-people know you just as well by your last name
-you get away with having different color shoe laces on your boots
-you have prewrap and tape with you almost always
-you either hate the tuck, or always have it in completely
-your first instinct when something is coming at you is to trap it or head it back
-all you bring to a pickup game is your cleats and a pair of footies
-You constantly have bad tan lines
-when you drop something and try to settle it
-even when someone says football you think soccer.
-You can go hard for 90 minutes, and know 11 different positions
-you keep dropping stuff because you think it’s a penalty to touch it.
- When your goalie gloves cost more than a laptop.
- 200 Bucks on cleats doesn’t even phase you
- You cringe when someone rolls their athletic shorts more than once
- on Monday you never fail to have a plethora of new bruises to show off, as well as a story behind each
- you choose your guys based on how good they are at the sport
- if someone says "my knee hurts" you ask where. then correctly diagnose the problem
- its 65 degrees out and you think its the perfect temperature
- your favorite feeling in the world is slide tackling on dewey grass
- hair stops growing on your legs where your guards go
- your forearms, knees, and face are the only tan parts of your body
-whenever something, anything is flying towards your face, you try to head it instead of catching it.
-You’re immune to the smell of shinguards, boots and gloves.
-A mile run is nothing compared to a game.
-You realize mls isn’t real soccer.
-You’ve spent your free time thinking of comments criticizing a refs call.
-Your closet is filled with spandex.
-All white soccer clothes are stained, but you still wear them.
-You have more soccer shoes than regular shoes.
-You’re outside in 30 degrees weather, it snowing and pissed because there’s only 5 minutes left in the game.
-You own at least one ankle brace
-when you are the only person in your class who believes Beckham, Ronaldo, and Ronaldinho aren’t the best
-when you hear predators you think of the boots not the animal!
-when the first thing you do in a fight is kick and break the legs, or headbutt them in the sternum.
-when you can put the basketball in the hoop quicker with your feet than your hands
-when you realize you have nasty feet, but are even more surprised when you realize that you don’t care.
-you know your a soccer player when you go to play soccer in the snow…….at -25
-When the football team comes after you to make you kick for them
- You buy glow in the dark balls so you can play in the dark
-when you are willing (and almost excited) to play in the freezing rain and hail in March.
-Juggling has a completely different meaning to you
-When diving doesn’t mean a sport, it means an unforgiveable sin
-when you saw the display picture for the group and whished u lived there
-when you still have your first pair of gloves/shoes/uniform
-when you can use the smell of your gloves as a weapon
-when you have seen the movie "Big Green" too many times to count, and will never get too old for it
- showing off your scarred shins or knees in shorts/skirts doesn’t even faze you
-(for girls) when you go to get your hair cut, and you tell the lady it has to be long enough for a ponytail.
-when the teacher tells you to get something out to read, and you pull out the latest Eurosport magazine.
-when you get pissed at your mom for washing your gloves after your 4th consecutive shutout "because they stink"
-when "because they stink" is not an excuse to wash your gloves/shin pads
-When your entire car is littered with water bottles from games.
- When you can name every one of your coaches you’ve had since you were 5.
- When you have the same pre-game ritual for # of games because you haven’t lost.
- When you have more friends from playing than from your own school.
- When you can’t walk around your town without someone asking how the game went.
- When at least one of your bags is devoted to your soccer stuff.
- When you have ball marks that are still there the next day.
- When younger kids start talking to you about one of your games even though you don’t know there names.

-When you use your boots until you have to tape them to play.
- When after you tape them you play one more game because you scored the game before
- You say " its a nice day, when its pouring rain"
- People constantly compliment you on your perfectly toned "soccer legs!"
- When you go to the beach and your legs are three different shades of tanned.
-when there is no such thing as a "grass-only" ball because you play where ever when ever
-You watched all the Joga Bonito videos at least 3 times.
- You do juggle the ball over 30 times.
- You could be in the middle of the desert, but be fine if you had a soccer ball
- You wear tight shorts and don’t mind all the nice legs comments.
- You don’t smoke because you need your stamina in a game
- After you pass the goalie, you bend down just to header the ball in.
- You can balance a soccer ball somewhere on your body for over an hour.
- People ask you if you work out, and you say "No, I play soccer"
- You trip people when they walk for no reason.
- You’ve watched old movies of Pele play.
- you hate it when you talk about futbol and retards think your talking about American football
- your whole room looks spotless except for that spot where your boots go.
- you know most of your friends from soccer tournaments and competitions.
- something falls, you pick it up with your feet, even if it’s an eraser or an article of clothing.
- you know the name of the player when you see just the their number.
- your parents didn’t worry about you doing drugs because you were probably out all night playing soccer in a lit field.
- you know scoring a goal is almost as good as having sex.
- you know at least 4 ways to pick up a soccer ball (NO HANDS)
- your not impressed when watching someone juggle until they passed 500.
- you don’t realize your pulling on the other guys shirt until he’s on the floor and the ref is holding that yellow card.
- your team ends up being family
- your going to teach your kid to be a soccer God, and send videos of him/her to M. United.
- you’ve either been to or are dying to go to a World Cup, even if your team didn’t make it.
- a soccer game decides what your mood is going to be for the next couple of hours.
-when you dribble the soccer ball around the house all the time
-when you have Fabreez stocked in your bag, car, and room!!!
-when freshly cut grass seems to long
-you try to teach animals to play soccer
-you name you soccer balls after the greatest players of all time
-when, you absolutely LOVE the smell of fresh cut grass
-when u hang out with your friends from soccer more than your friends from school
-when you can fluently say corner run and wall ball in three different languages
-when 90′ above on the field doesn’t phase you, -90′ below on the field doesn’t phase you and 90 MIN. ON THE FIELD doesn’t phase you…OLAY!!!!
-when you don’t think a Maradona is hard to pull off in a game like everyone else thinks
-when a half a bottle of Fabreez doesn’t get rid of the odor coming from your right shoe
-when your fridge is stacked with Gatorade and power bars
and your freezer is full of ice packs
-when your mom has to hose you down in the backyard before letting your muddy ass into the house!
-you know your a soccer player when you yell at the pro’s on tv, telling them where to go, even though you know they cant hear you… but you wish they could.
-you know you’re soccer player when you come out of a game with scratches all over your legs from sliding but you don’t even notice it.
-you know your a soccer player, when your MySpace, Facebook, etc., is comprised mostly of short video clips of soccer bloopers from the FIFA world cup, and other major matches.
-when the ref’s know you by name.
-Your coach has to drag you off the field when you’re hurt, and you’re still saying i can still play coach.
-when bruises, blisters, and blood are just part of your everyday routine
-if you yell at ESPN because they put poker on instead of the National Team
-When you randomly start trying to juggle/ rainbow any object in sight
-When your hair just doesn’t feel right if it’s not in a ponytail.
-you scout "competition” for tryouts and games MONTHS in advance
-when you pass the neighbor’s ball back with your feet. even if its a basketball
-when you rush in for every loose ball in the box and coming out bleeding doesn’t even matter to you.
-when all your toes have been stepped on, causing your toe nails to fall out!!!
-you know your a soccer player when ref’s call you by your jersey number even when you aren’t playing
-when Your favorite smell is new cleats
-When you can’t wear shorts outside of soccer because you always have scrapes.
-When you’ve played with ten players. And actually won.
-you have disgusting "cleat feet"
-when you wont wash your uniform even though it smells bad because you won last game in it
-you will wear your lucky cleats until they literally fall apart on you on the field
-you buy the same pair of cleats just new ones over and over because you had a good season with them
-you have no life outside of soccer =))
– use soccer tricks when your in a crowd..
-wait for the opponent then decide where to move..
-when you’d rather watch soccer clips than porn!

This is a cute little Pepsi commercial. Hope you enjoy!

I have updated our web site with a bookshelf page. Please take the time to check out all the soccer related books. If you buy any form the links Chaos gets a sales commission.  If you have read any of these books send me your review and I’ll post it to the site.  If you have any books to add or recommend shoot me an email with the ISBN.

Currently, I’m reading this book..

How Soccer Explains the World: An Unlikely Theory of Globalization by Franklin Foer Read more about this book…

It’s not just about soccer but it has some geography history and culture.

Good read so far.